I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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