Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
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