Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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