life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
