my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
