I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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