all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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