Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
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