How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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