You're so nebulous sometimes
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize