IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
