nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Who died my cat blue again?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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