he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Randomize
