I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
they're like a gay fantastic four
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
