I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
