Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
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