I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
This is my gift to your gina
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
