My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
