u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
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