I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
