the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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