the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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