When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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