He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Let's get the cat blown out
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Randomize
