Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Randomize
