College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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