Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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