I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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