are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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