on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
