Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Randomize
