Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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