The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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