And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
