even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize