The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
i think my cat just said my name.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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