i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize
