i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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