She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
