Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
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