Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
