I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Randomize
