Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
