My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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