I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
