OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Randomize
