she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
