Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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