Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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