how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Randomize
