"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize