I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
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