stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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