Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
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