I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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