I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
