what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
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