did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize