I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
