I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
