What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
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