he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
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That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
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I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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