the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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