If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
