Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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