I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
