I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
